Behind every big grey cloud lies the sunshine...eventually.
Today was horrible, woke up late as usual. Gobbled down my cereal with milk and trotted in my 2-inch boots along the 25 min walk to work. Only, it was drizzling. Bottom of my jeans got wet. Laine Not happy.
As soon as I got into work, I had to finish correcting some scripts for my class which was due today. No time to talk to anyone, no time to pop into the lab to say my usual cheery good mornings to everyone. 11.00 am bus passed by....Im still not done...11.30am bus zoomed by...still undone!! Finally finished at 11.40 and had to shove my giant tuna sandwich down my throat to catch the 12pm bus.
Click-clacked to Strathfield station and came upon a forked decision:
Train A: Departs in 10 mins..2 stop away from Redfern
Train B: Departs in 2 mins... 6 stops away from Redfern....My mind was not born for math, what more math in stress and heat and sweat!!
Obviously I chose the train that would take longer to get to Redfern..25 mins!! as compared to the usual 15. Darn it. Already 30 mins late to work. Once at the station, I practically had to half-run-walk another 10 mins to my building. By now, my so-called comfy boots that cushioned my feet around San Fran's all-day shopping extravaganzas were screaming profanities at me. So I burst into my lab, sweating like a birthing pig with 5 mins before 80 anxious kiddos flood in.
So my day hasnt given me a reason to smile today. Until I unexpectedly spoke to an ex-classmate from uni days. He said "We need our dose of laine's laughter today, its been quiet around here".
See I told you so. The sun will come out, tomorrow!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
My Non-invitation
James from work recently pointed out that the lanyard Ive been wearing bore the logo of 3 stick people engaged in a threesome. I beg to differ of course, what do you think?
In case you're wondering, its a brand of anaesthetic drug given by my anaesthetist friend Si Panjang. James thinks its my invitation. Since when did it become OK to discuss sexual preferences at work????
Too bad Im really a one man gal.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Oktoberfest! or what's left of it
Although Oktoberfest isn't celebrated in October but late September, that doesnt stop German restaurants here from declaring the entire month in the name of beer. Before coming to Sydney, my only beer crossing was sniping a sip from Dad's Tiger or Carlsberg. Never really had a taste for beer or bier as the Germs call it, but I think the winds have changed. We went out a couple of weekends ago for a beer-guzzling dinner at Lowenbrau (loo-ven-broie) and my my, I must say, beer really does drown the weeks miseries away! We had loads of fun, loads of pork. Now I understand why Dad loves his beer.
I dont appreciate the growing and impending beer belly. Oh NO!!!!
After one too many biers. One crazy Jocie manages a sane pic.
Lainey wants a Vroom Vroom..
Saturday 20th Oct. My first international motor show. Oogle and drool...here's some of my favs.
BMW Z4 M Coupe in Midnight blue....for a swanky night out. 5 Stars!
Audi R8 . I give it 4 stars, too big and wide for me, but still a beaut.
Hyundai concept car - Veloster. Name is kinda crappy but that baby's got one fine ass. 5 stars!
And my sweet fantasy ride...tada!! Audi TT 3.2 Quattro . Hand me a napkin quick. Super duper 5 stars!!!Saturday, October 20, 2007
I pick Door D: the one with the devil in it
Imagine you got sent to hell on a road trip, and was made to choose between 3 doors; behind which you shall spend a total of 15 hours with its inhabitants. Which would be your pick?
DOOR A: Arrogant, obnoxious bitch of a man who coincidently renegades in a bevy of continuous sarcasm in the effort to appear funny. Must also always have the last say in everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. Basically, a ego-maniac who's also self-proclaimed pussy-whipped in the arse, which explains why he needs to be such a fuckin' elitist.
Quote: "I don't mean to put myself up, but at my work, Im regarded as the leader who solves big problems and people respect me cause I can handle them, and thats how I become successful". How is THAT not putting yourself up you little numbnut? God I hope you do really have nuts the size of raisins you shithead.
DOOR B: First man to walk away when the bill arrives. He wished he had Harry Potter's invisibility cloak to slither away unnoticed, but not under my watch mister! Also reported on multiple occasions to instigate others to pick up the tab, while he smiles his Cheshire cat smile. Oblivious that a myriad of unpleasant names are being yelled at him in my head. Who the fuck thinks he can get away at being a real deal cheapo and at the same time guilt-tripping someone else into paying? Fuckin freeloader. Hate you MFs.
DOOR C: The kind of person who will say something unpleasant unnecesarrily. Prolly never heard of the phrase : "If you don;t have anything nice to say, shut the fuck up" or it's kinder cousin : "If you dont open you mouth, nobody knows you're stupid". Have you ever told someone that you disliked them in their face? ambush and attack style? I don't think I appreciate being caught in that situation (which I obviously just did). The worst thing is that they don't think its impolite or wrong. It was like he was raised no, not by a monkey, but the monkey's shit-laden arse.
So I choose Door D, the one with horns and a barbed tail. Why? Cos I cant stand another minute of your smug yong sui face. Why? Cos the only things outta your mouth are filled with smut and pond scum, much like your insides. Why? Cos you have no sense of decency towards people and more so, people you've just met. Why? Cos you're trying to lose your Malaysian-ness to be more Aussie, much like the shallow people who don't embrace their roots and are miscronstrued that West n White is best. Why? I don't really wanna give you a piece of my pork rib cos you indirectly called me a bitch. Why? cos nobody announces how much they make just for public effect. I have a million reasons for disliking you from our brief 15 hour encounter. It's also taught me a valuable lesson. You can definately see how a person looks like on the inside by how much shit that spews out of his mouth.
Can't wait till you're outta our city.
DOOR A: Arrogant, obnoxious bitch of a man who coincidently renegades in a bevy of continuous sarcasm in the effort to appear funny. Must also always have the last say in everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. Basically, a ego-maniac who's also self-proclaimed pussy-whipped in the arse, which explains why he needs to be such a fuckin' elitist.
Quote: "I don't mean to put myself up, but at my work, Im regarded as the leader who solves big problems and people respect me cause I can handle them, and thats how I become successful". How is THAT not putting yourself up you little numbnut? God I hope you do really have nuts the size of raisins you shithead.
DOOR B: First man to walk away when the bill arrives. He wished he had Harry Potter's invisibility cloak to slither away unnoticed, but not under my watch mister! Also reported on multiple occasions to instigate others to pick up the tab, while he smiles his Cheshire cat smile. Oblivious that a myriad of unpleasant names are being yelled at him in my head. Who the fuck thinks he can get away at being a real deal cheapo and at the same time guilt-tripping someone else into paying? Fuckin freeloader. Hate you MFs.
DOOR C: The kind of person who will say something unpleasant unnecesarrily. Prolly never heard of the phrase : "If you don;t have anything nice to say, shut the fuck up" or it's kinder cousin : "If you dont open you mouth, nobody knows you're stupid". Have you ever told someone that you disliked them in their face? ambush and attack style? I don't think I appreciate being caught in that situation (which I obviously just did). The worst thing is that they don't think its impolite or wrong. It was like he was raised no, not by a monkey, but the monkey's shit-laden arse.
So I choose Door D, the one with horns and a barbed tail. Why? Cos I cant stand another minute of your smug yong sui face. Why? Cos the only things outta your mouth are filled with smut and pond scum, much like your insides. Why? Cos you have no sense of decency towards people and more so, people you've just met. Why? Cos you're trying to lose your Malaysian-ness to be more Aussie, much like the shallow people who don't embrace their roots and are miscronstrued that West n White is best. Why? I don't really wanna give you a piece of my pork rib cos you indirectly called me a bitch. Why? cos nobody announces how much they make just for public effect. I have a million reasons for disliking you from our brief 15 hour encounter. It's also taught me a valuable lesson. You can definately see how a person looks like on the inside by how much shit that spews out of his mouth.
Can't wait till you're outta our city.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
HAHAHA Malaysia!
Courtesy of Kim, Here's 2 Malaysian jokes I'ld like to share with you guys.
Samy Vellu goes to a village and speaks to the villagers:
Samy: Saya nak bina jambatan untuk semua!
Villagers: Tapi Tan Sri, di sini tak ada sungai. Kenapa nak bina jambatan?
Samy: Tak ada sungai? Tak apa!. Saya bina sungai untuk jambatan!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-There she goes....there she goes..our tax payers money...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An international convention to send astronauts into space was announced and joined by the big guns.
Russia: We vill send an astronaut to the moon!
US: We will send our 2nd astronaut to the moon!!!
Samy Vellu: We will send our astronaut to the sun!! MALAYSIA BOLEH!!
US: AHem, Mr Vellu, don't you think it's a little too hot on the sun??
Samy Vellu: It's ok, we will send them in the evening.
Tee Hee HEe...
Samy Vellu goes to a village and speaks to the villagers:
Samy: Saya nak bina jambatan untuk semua!
Villagers: Tapi Tan Sri, di sini tak ada sungai. Kenapa nak bina jambatan?
Samy: Tak ada sungai? Tak apa!. Saya bina sungai untuk jambatan!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-There she goes....there she goes..our tax payers money...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An international convention to send astronauts into space was announced and joined by the big guns.
Russia: We vill send an astronaut to the moon!
US: We will send our 2nd astronaut to the moon!!!
Samy Vellu: We will send our astronaut to the sun!! MALAYSIA BOLEH!!
US: AHem, Mr Vellu, don't you think it's a little too hot on the sun??
Samy Vellu: It's ok, we will send them in the evening.
Tee Hee HEe...
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Wonders of Photography
Samson, Mystie & ILast weekend, Mystie invited myself and James for a sampler of their wedding luncheon. Food was divine of course and what followed was a short photography session. James creates the most beautiful pictures, very very artsy from his multiple trips to Japan. Who else to best capture her best moments? Being "assistant" bag-carrier, I did get a few shots myself.
I have NEVER looked so tall! 5"1 disguised as 5"6!!! Holy moly!Monday, October 8, 2007
Life Lotto
I had a recent discussion with a good galfriend of mine, A about men. Which, coincidently, comprises of maybe 65% of all our conversations. Which makes me think, is it all just fate who we end up with at the end of the day. "A" is beautiful and has a great personality and yet, she always dates the wrong kind of men. On the other hand, some women whose looks are less forgiving (im thinking a former neighbour of mine, proposterously near hideous of a woman. but married a very successful, decent looking man). So how do the birds get the good worms? Are the best worms ones that emerge fresh from the ground like career-driven men, metrosexual and boldly going where no worm has gone before; or are the ones that linger in the ground for a tad bit puffing up slowly on dirt or whatever worms eat which make them a tastier treat for women?
Sadly you will find I do not have an answer for you. However, I do have a pretty logical explanation:
Assume you live in a metropolitan city with a large demographic of all types of people. Lets say there are 10 million people in this city. Now lets have some fun with math:
Of 10 million, half are women . -------------------------5 million EM (Eligible men)
Of 5 million men, 50% are married ----------------------- 2.5 million EM
Of 2.5 million unmarried men, 30% are above 40 years old ----1.75 million EM
Of 1.75 million, 30% are below 20 years old ---------------- 1.2 million EM
Of 1.2 million men, 40% are too fat, too bald, too short or too ugly ----approx 720,000 EM
Of 720,000 men, 20% have emotional baggage from ex-girlfriends ----580,000 EM
Of 580,000 men, 20% have bad BO and/or bad breath ------approx 420,000 EM
Of 420,000 men, 10% add 2 inches to their actual length -----approx 380,000 EM
Of 380,000 men, 30% are cat lovers -------------------approx 260,000 EM
Of 260,000 men, 50% watch too much porn for their own good ---130,000 EM
Of 130,000 men, 50% only wanna get in your pants ------------ 65,000 EM
Of those, 10% will tell their friends that they did
20% watch too much sports
20% expect you to wash, clean and cook
10% have extremely hot female friends
10% talk to your chest
10% somehow used to date friends of friends of friends
10% are mommy's boys ----------------------------6,500 EM
Of 6,500 remaining men,
20% are workaholics
30% drink and /or smoke too much
40% put you second to their careers -------------------------650 EM
Of these 650 EM,
90% are good looking, kind, generous, loving and TAKEN----65 EM
The rest of the 65 EM, 80% won't have the guts to ask you out ------13 EM
That leaves the final 13 eligible and "dateable" bachelors which you of course have to fight over with the 2.5 million unmarried women in your city. So who's the lucky gal? just depends if you bought the winning lotto ticket i guess.
Sadly you will find I do not have an answer for you. However, I do have a pretty logical explanation:
Assume you live in a metropolitan city with a large demographic of all types of people. Lets say there are 10 million people in this city. Now lets have some fun with math:
Of 10 million, half are women . -------------------------5 million EM (Eligible men)
Of 5 million men, 50% are married ----------------------- 2.5 million EM
Of 2.5 million unmarried men, 30% are above 40 years old ----1.75 million EM
Of 1.75 million, 30% are below 20 years old ---------------- 1.2 million EM
Of 1.2 million men, 40% are too fat, too bald, too short or too ugly ----approx 720,000 EM
Of 720,000 men, 20% have emotional baggage from ex-girlfriends ----580,000 EM
Of 580,000 men, 20% have bad BO and/or bad breath ------approx 420,000 EM
Of 420,000 men, 10% add 2 inches to their actual length -----approx 380,000 EM
Of 380,000 men, 30% are cat lovers -------------------approx 260,000 EM
Of 260,000 men, 50% watch too much porn for their own good ---130,000 EM
Of 130,000 men, 50% only wanna get in your pants ------------ 65,000 EM
Of those, 10% will tell their friends that they did
20% watch too much sports
20% expect you to wash, clean and cook
10% have extremely hot female friends
10% talk to your chest
10% somehow used to date friends of friends of friends
10% are mommy's boys ----------------------------6,500 EM
Of 6,500 remaining men,
20% are workaholics
30% drink and /or smoke too much
40% put you second to their careers -------------------------650 EM
Of these 650 EM,
90% are good looking, kind, generous, loving and TAKEN----65 EM
The rest of the 65 EM, 80% won't have the guts to ask you out ------13 EM
That leaves the final 13 eligible and "dateable" bachelors which you of course have to fight over with the 2.5 million unmarried women in your city. So who's the lucky gal? just depends if you bought the winning lotto ticket i guess.
Animagus
The concept of an animagus, according to Harry Potter's JK Rowling is a person who morphs into animal forms voluntarily. Laine's theory of animagi (animagus ; animagi?) is the phenomenon of animal resemblance in humans, occuring once in every 500,000 individuals. The unfortunate/ fortunate mixture of physical traits inherited by a person which happens to match some animalia physical properties.
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